I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
love makes seman taste better
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
