i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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