Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
