the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
