u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
