i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They have beer where we have blood.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Two words: nipple clamps
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