Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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