i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
