My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm really busy with my period
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