It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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