why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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