they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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