I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
