considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
