Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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