He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
