Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
this is an emotional support booty call
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
