I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
