big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
