I think I died a long time ago.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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