Already got asked if we're dating
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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