I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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