Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
