they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
