your thong is hanging out like whoa
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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