have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
