Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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