So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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