its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
