escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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