I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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