It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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