she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
