SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
