I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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