whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
