im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I want to be your penis for a week.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
