she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
