i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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