In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
