i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
