SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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