I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im holly from the hills drunk
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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