My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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