My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
