i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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