Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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