Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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