It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
