You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
